psychologists at Child Development

How can we cope with child’s school problems? They are so different that sometimes it is very difficult even for specialists to cope with them. Sometimes parents have not enough patience and understanding. But of course most of all children suffer from school problems. If these problems follow one after another a child simply give in as he/she begins to consider himself helpless and unable and all his/her efforts seem useless. Psychologists are convinced that the results of education depend not only on someone’s abilities to accomplish a task but also on assurance in its accomplishment. But if failures follow one after another finally any child says:”I will never accomplish it.”
Here I can give some piece of advice that can help the parents to cope with difficulties if they exist:
1. First of all we should not despair if some school problems appear. But if this happens we should not show this to our child as if this problem is our personal problem. Our main task is to help a child.
2. You should be ready for a long-term work with your child as he can not cope with his problems himself.
3. Your main help is to support him and to assure his strength. Try to release the feeling of intension and fault for the failures. If you pay attention to your child only only to ask how he is you create a foundation for new problems.
4. Forget the question: “What mark have you got?” Do not make him immediately tell you about school affairs if your child is upset. Let him tell you when he wants to tell you himself. Children in most cases do so when they are sure in parents’ support.
5. Do not discuss the problems with a teacher when your child is present. It is better to do this without him. Do not admire the success of other children too much.
6. You should take interest in homework accomplishment only if you constantly help your child. You must have enough patience when you work with your child as it is very hard to overcome any difficulties. It is very important to be totally absorbed by your child. None must disturb you. It is also very important with whom your child will do his homework. Mothers are gentle-hearted, but they have not enough patience and they are too emotional. Fathers are crueler but they are quieter at the same time.
During preparing the homework a child must stop to have rest every half an hour. It is very important for the health of your child.
7. Try to support your child if he does not succeed at school and always encourage him if he shows even  insignificant good results. It is very important for every child to know that his parents notice his success.  But from the other side your child must not get used to your encouragement.
8. A child with problems at school should have a strict day regimen as it is very important in overcoming his problems.
9. Try to spend  with your child as much time as possible and you maybe can avoid most of existing problems. 

TV is the powerful mass media involving both adults and children. It is also a favourite kind for children for spending their free time watching TV. Thus it is necessary to consider, that each fourth child from eight till twelve years has his/her own TV. As a whole advertising (children’s and adult together) makes 10 % of all screen time.
It seems, anybody does not doubt any more that the modern industry of advertising actively maintains children.

Last researches show, that children define about half of all family purchases that makes more than 90 billion euro a year at a level of the country.

Researches of social psychologists have shown, that children till 8 years
-      do not always distinguish television advertising from other transfers and are not capable to distinguish its convincing purpose;
- illegibly enough trust TV advertising;
- wish to get the advertised goods and finger in this occasion of parents; while growing the child looks through 350 000 rollers
Many advertisement makers think that it is not useful to try to catch a recognition of people with already settled sights and persuade them to buy products . It is much more favourable to involve in itself the young audience easily perceiving all new, with not settled tastes, habits, with even not generated style and a way of life. The generation, since young years brought up in spirit of adherence to the certain brand, will keep the attachment during all life.
Thus, the modern child who has not issued yet as the person, not always still able to distinguish bad from good, harmful from useful, already knows, than it is possible to satisfy the thirst, what beer correct where to find guarantees and what to do, if there is no tooth-brush…

Not the secret, that the majority of adult televiewers does not like to look advertising rollers.
And small children practically do not have feeling of irritation because of the same advertising clips which repeat infinitely. The same teleroller they are ready to look repeatedly and with indefatigable interest. Kids from 4 till 6 years, and not so solvent adults continue to watch TV during translation of advertising blocks.

Psychologists consider that, ”small children are involved first of all with movement on the screen and a bright picture, instead of sense of the advertising message. The stream of the semantic information is perceived by them unconsciously. It is based on physiological feature of recognition: the attention of the person is focused on changes in surrounding space, instead of that is constant. Without additional strong-willed effort the person cannot long concentrate on stationary object. The weariness and attention collects is switched spontaneously. And on the contrary, the more changes, the stronger attention to them.
Modern advertising is characterized by dynamism. The child completely falls under authority of advertising. In advertising clips visual images vary so quickly, that the attention of the child simply has not time to get tired and obediently follows them.
Always remember that the unique purpose of any advertising - to force you to buy something. According to this purpose also perceive all “creative” attempts, even if they deliberately noncommercial as in such kind they can be especially dangerous. If to follow even only to this piece of advice half of television advertising will not cause in you anything, except for bewilderment.
There is a lot of debates about the impact of advertising on children’s mind.  There are people who think that there is some useful information for children in any advertisement that helps their developing mind. Some advertisements are funny and as everybody knows laugh prolongs our life.  Children get used to such notions as price, money, work. But I agree with people who think that advertising mostly brings harm for children who take the first steps in their life.

I think that this question disturbs every man and every woman throughout the world regardless their religion and age. However, in reality what does it mean to be mother and to be father?
All people suppose that the destination of every woman in the Earth is to continue human race. But our forefathers thought that if a woman had not children she could not be valuable. They made believe that only after a woman understood what it meant she would be able to feel her feminity completely. The birth of child is a miracle, which approaches every woman to the God. Everybody knows that practically all religions have a cult of mother.
A lot of women explain that they are not ready to be a mother. Furthermore, they frequently approach to this important event very irresponsibly. It is not a secret that the majority of them even do not plan the birth of their children. They become mothers in consequence of silly fortuitousness. A lot of women do not want to have children because these living beings limit their liberty. Moreover, children need many financial charges and very often they spoil a figure.
Nevertheless, if a woman decides to become a mum, it is necessary for her to raise the next question: Why I need this baby? It is not a secret that the most commonly used answer is I need someone in my old age, who will be able to offer a glass of water. It turns out that parents take care of their children only because they need someone, who will be able to look after them in declining years. And if a baby does not justify their hopes in future, he will receive reproaches about his ingratitude. However, it is necessary to remember that a child is not a bank to which people deposit their money with hope to receive interests in future. He must be desired. It is essential to take care and love him without selfish ends.
Every woman must evaluate her readiness to become a mother and it is necessary for her to think about what she will be able to give her baby. And the most important thing here is spiritual values. An educational program, elaborated for the majority of schools and universities, has not a goal to educate women in the sphere of motherhood. That is why if a woman decides to chose this way, she will have to study a lot in order to behave in a proper way during her pregnancy, childbirth and in post-natal period. It is really very important because the future of every child depends on it.
And now I would like to speak about men and their attitude to fatherhood. It is not a secret that for the majority of men fatherhood is not the most important and significant affair in the life. The first positions occupy their career and job. And it is useless to blame our dear mankind in selfishness and loss of consciousness. Simple the nature decided that in all periods of time men were getters and bread-winners, while women were the keepers of house fireside. Although, in spite of continuous pressure of work, they have to participate in the upbringing of their children. Every child needs not only maternal, but and paternal love and kindness. He carefully keeps an eye on the behavior of his parents and tries to imitate it.  And then in the future he will try to build his family according to the model in which he lived and grew up. That is why it is very important for every child to see under his very nose deserving example of both parents.
The desire to become father is frequently unconscious, at the level of instinct. All men simple want to continua their family and they do everything no to let it disappear.
The same way as women, all men should think carefully about their preparedness for this serious step.  They should begin to think about what they will be able to give their children. It is essential to weigh all merits and demerits. Psychologists believe that if woman feel motherhood in the first period of pregnancy, man begins to feel his fatherhood not also after baby birth. That is why in order to speed up his knowing of responsibility, man should prepare to the birth of his child together with his wife. Moreover, he should help her during the pregnancy, childbirth and in post-natal period.
So as we can see in our society both of parents should be responsible for the birth of healthy and valuable baby. The way to motherhood is very important in the life of every woman. And man has not to keep his distance. During the pregnancy he should take care about future mother and future baby by her deliverance from housekeeping. It is important to create in the house friendly and positive atmosphere. Sometimes a woman, who waits a child, has different whims in food and desires. In accordance with Kazakh folk custom, all wishes and desires of future mother are holy and father makes unbelievable efforts to satisfy them. Besides, fathers must remember an advice of ancient Greeks: a woman, who waits a child, should look at beautiful statues, pictures and listen to pleasant music. Accomplishment of all these conditions will help an expectant mother to give birth to healthy and cheerful baby!!!

One of my friends has admitted to me, that during the pregnancy (now she has two very nice children) she was on the verge of divorce … sixteen times. Fortunately, it did not happen. She has admitted to me what ideas have led her to such condition. So I decided to ask some simple men who have wide experience of home life about it. I think, that to those readers who have same doubts, it will be interesting to learn, that «the opposite party » thinks in this occasion.
IDEA 1. It is necessary to get divorced, yet late. He loved me only when I had a perfect figure. And he doesn’t need me now. He looks at beautiful girls.
Michael, the father of three children:
It is absolutely wrong. The man can look anywhere and it doesn’t mean he lost his interest to his wife. And sexuality of a woman doesn’t depend on whether she is pregnant or not. Everything depends on how she feels herself and how she is acting.
Oleg, the father of two children:
The man (normal) marries the woman not because of a figure, he is involved in her absolutely with other qualities. And these remarkable qualities are shown especially brightly during the pregnancy.
IDEA 2. He is selfish. I am pregnant now. I need his help and care, but he doesn’t understand it. He turns on the TV when I want to sleep. He never washes dishes after himself. I didn’t pay attention to it before, but it is hard for me now to do some housework. My friend’s husband called his wife five times a day, massaged her when she was pregnant and mine ….
Peter, the father of three children:
On the contrary, when the beloved woman is pregnant, man feels the greater responsibility for her than earlier. But sometimes he doesn’t think about household trifles. Women have more flexible mentality, than the man. That’s why I consider, that she should take the initiative and talk to him, but without hysterics and screams. To find out attitudes and to discuss each other’s duties. It is important to choose a right moment for such conversation. For example, it is not necessary to find out attitudes, when both are tired.
IDEA 3. He considers, that it is impossible to communicate with me because I translate any theme on the child. And it, as seems to me,he is interested in our future kid insufficiently: inattentively listens to me when I tell about how he now looks and what he can do now. Besides the husband demands attention and care, but I need it too.
I asked to comment this idea several men of different age and with various life experience. All of them have declared, that it is always interesting to father how his child develops. Therefore it is possible to advise future mum who is overcome with similar ideas to calm down and to be more critical to herself: Probably your husband is tired. You have started talking to him when he was going to have a rest? Remember, it is a hard time for him too now: he works more than usually to provide the worthy future to you and your kid. And your husband really demands attention and care. Therefore do not reproach the husband, try to calm down, and try to be more tender, and you will see, that he will give more attention to you too.

IDEA 4. It seems to me, that when I have become pregnant, the husband began to hesitate of me. We always went together everywhere earlier, but now he doesn’t wish to appear with me in public. Recently he went to his friend’s birthday party and told me that everyone will be there without wives. Perhaps, the love has passed?

Vladimir, the father of the adult daughter:
The love has not passed. Often future fathers (especially if they are very young, and this is his first kid) hesitate of enhanced attention of associates, their questions and jokes. What should woman do in this case? Do not be silent, do not take offence. It is necessary to talk to the husband, to explain. Be patient. When your husband becomes more senior and wiser, he will behave absolutely differently.

What I can say in this occasion? Whether it is necessary to you to get divorced right now? You need an encouragement instead of tears and finding-out of attitudes. Whether it is necessary for you? It is your decision. But the woman should remember that when she is pregnant, she is not absolutely adequately estimates a situation. By the opinion of psychologists there are some changes in mentality of the pregnant woman because of hormonal reorganizations. In such condition the woman can strongly react to trifles which earlier would just pass unnoticed. And after pregnancy she will regret about the decision to divorce, but it will be too late.

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