Child Development

Today I would like to draw your attention to culture differences and people attitude to the birth of baby in different countries. And I have chosen the most interesting countries from my point of view such as Muslim ones. So, what does happen in Muslim family and community after the birth of the baby? The birth of every new person the Moslems consider as a great gift of Allah, the most important event in the life of every Muslim family. There are specials conditions, which regulate the actions of parents and their relatives in connection with the birth of baby.
1. The first sigh and the first word. The first word that every Muslim baby hears is “God”. As soon as the baby born in his ears whisper the words of praising of the Most High: in the right – appeal to the prayer and to the left – the second appeal to the prayer.  As a rule the father does it. This ceremony has a deep sense.  According to Islam, Satan, the main enemy of all people, waits impatiently for the birth of every baby in order to lead astray. That is why it is very important that the baby hears the appeal to God before the call of Satan. The words of belief in God and faithfulness will accompany him during his life.
2. Sweetness of the first moments. After the baby has heard the divine words it is necessary to anoint his lips and oral cavity with date mass. The mother does it the next manner. Firstly she chews well a date, than takes a small part of it and puts in the mouth of the baby. Then she massages his oral cavity with light movements in order to place this mass throughout the oral cavity. In the same time she reads prayers to health and good wishes to her baby. If the parents have not a date, they can use every sweet fruit. People consider that this massage strengthens the muscles of baby. According to the legend the prophet Muhammad himself have done this procedure in the first time.
3. Hair worth weight in gold. In seven days after the birth of baby it is desired to shave his head and distribute among the poor silver and gold, the weight of which is equal to shaved hair. In another case the parents can give a sum of money corresponding the quantity of this precious metal. But what the parents should do, if the baby does not have hair at all? They should simply distribute charity among those, who need it.
4. The importance of the name. The choice of the name is very important for the Moslems. Bur there are some disagreements according to the target date. Some insist on calling the baby in the seventh day after his birth. The others persist in doing it in the first day. But the day is not so important. The attitude to this event in the life of every person is much more significant. The Moslems should call their children in the name of prophets and angels. It is reasonable that that the name of the first prophet Muhammad is the most popular. But there are other recommendations. A person, who is responsible for it, should observe on the name of the baby in order to save him from offensive mockeries. People say that even Prophet himself changed disharmonious names. The names of boys include not only the names of prophets and angels, but also ones, which have the root “abd”. Girls usually have the names of the women from the family of Prophet
5. Thank God. It is desired (if the parents of the baby have enough money) in the seventh day after his birth to sacrifice a sheep. If the girl has born, it is necessary to sacrifice one sheep in the case of the birth of boy it is necessary to slaughter one or two sheep. It depends on the financial position of his father. But nowadays in the cities it is not so easy to sacrifice an animal. But the Moslems try to resolve this problem. They go to suburb in order to do this ceremonial there. People, who are too far from Islam, may think that this custom is very exotic or even barbaric. But the Moslems believe that God doe not need this sacrifice. They think that people themselves need it.
6. Circumcision as a sign of submission to Allah. This custom is very ancient and not only people of Islam do it. The Moslems do it with their sons in order to show that the parents, completely submitted to Allah, pass the baby to his will. A person with a special medical and religion education can do the circumcision. He can do it both at home and in any hospital, where there is a surgeon. There is no a single opinion about the day of circumcision. The majority of doctors believe that it necessary to do the circumcision in the same day with the shaving of hair of the baby. It means in the seventh day after his birth. For example, in Turkey, doctors do it with the boys at the age of 7-10. However, all boys of the full legal age should be cut.
The possibility to have children is very important for all Moslems. They marry not only to satisfy their carnal needs. It is much more essential to born and to bring-up own children. The Moslems believe that children are the greatest plenty of God. That is why in Muslim families the wife and the husband are not slave and sovereign, their relations are build on mutual respect and care.

Today in a bus I heard a little talk between two young women about all advantages and disadvantages of their own baby-sitters. That is why I decided to know why mothers need a nanny and what every woman should do in order to find a good one.
The more time a mother spends with her baby, the better it is. It is necessary to wait as minimum one and a half year and only after that to think about the job. Three year is the best alternative.
A housemaid is much better than any baby-sitter. She not only exempts a woman from housekeeping, but she also will be able to walk with the baby when he is sleeping and will stay with the child if a mother needs to left him for several hours. However, when the child is staying awake, alongside with him should be his mom. If it is necessary for a woman to go to work, she must choose a baby-sitter at the age of 30-45. It will be ideal if she married and has her own children preschool and school age. It is really important because all children are very sensitive. If a baby-sitter has her own baby, she necessarily possesses emotional and practical experience in relations with children.
If a baby-sitter has not her own children or if a baby-sitter is a woman of pensionable age, who wants the grandchild, there is a high probability that this very woman will transfer outstanding mothering feelings to the baby. This baby-sitter will be attached to the child very much. And firstly this situation is too dangerous for the mom, because she may begin to be jealous. As a result, the atmosphere in the house will be negative and it will have an effect on baby badly.
A baby-sitter not under any circumstances should exceed her authority and replace the mom. The most dangerous are advertised super-nannies such as teachers and doctors. They can literally enslave the whole family. For example, a baby-sitter accustoms the baby to eat or to sleep only in her presence. After that it will be very easy for her to manipulate the mom. That is why every woman should watch closely in order to keep all positions in the family in the same place. May a child have so called ceremonials, which makes the mom, for example, a special song before dream.
It is very important that a baby-sitter has the same positions to the upbringing as parents have.
We suppose that you have chosen a baby-sitter. But let she spend about a week with the baby under the supervision. It is a good chance to understand suit this baby-sitter or not!
However, if you want to find a good and responsible person you should use the next question during the interview.
1. The first and the most important is “Tell me please about your experience.” It is very important that a baby-sitter worked with children at the age of your own baby. You should know in details how many children were in the charge of this woman. As two-week experience you hardly like. Try to know if this baby-sitter looks after for several children in the same time. The question about recommendation is both important and unimportant. Some parents prefer them, the others trust only themselves.
2. The second is “What did you do before?” This question is about profession. The main plus is experience in the child institutions and appropriate education such as pedagogical, psychological and medical. It will be very good if she has additional experience and skills. For instance, knack of massage, knowledge of languages, music and so on.
3. The third is “What situation is more serious, when baby is crying or when he is too active and energetic?” This question helps you to know the character of your future nanny as well as possible. If she chooses the first variant, it means that your nanny has not enough patience and she can easily get angry. In another case it means that she is not energetic herself and hardly she will encourage active games.
4. The forth is “Do you smoke?” I think this point is very important because healthy of the baby depends on it. If the nanny says yes, you should take obligation from her not to smoke when the baby stays close.
5. The fifth is “Describe, please, your daily routine, working with the baby.” Of course the future baby-sitter can embellish the reality, telling how they firstly sing songs and read fairy tales, and then go to park in order to work up an appetite. But in any case in her answers will be some nuances, which she will not be able to keep back. If the nanny simply lists daily affairs, which have their own time, there is a chance that she will be attentive to the internal development of the child.
6. The sixth question is “From your point of view, how looks the ideal baby?” This question helps to know how this baby-sitter can cope with difficult situations. If she wants the baby will be happy, it is a big plus. If she dreams about calm and accommodating baby, will be careful! Probably she afraid weeping and will yield in difficult situation.
7. The next question is provocative “The child has fainted away. Your actions?” Due to this question you can easily check the quickness of her reaction. If she does not know what to answer, think, suit this woman to you or not. If she answers that will call the ambulance or will connect with parents without delay – you are lucky, because you have found a really good nanny.
8. This questions concerns food which a baby–sitter prefers. Your baby needs balanced food. As in the most cases your nanny will cook it is really very important to know what she knows about dietetically food.
9. The ninth question is “How do you spend your holidays?” or “Do you have a lot of friends?” This question helps you to know your baby-sitter is homebody or soul of the party. Yes, of course, your baby needs active games, but sometimes he wants to rest. It is very useful for you to know who visits the baby-sitter in your absence, how often rings the telephone and so on. You even can return home earlier in order to check your baby-sitter.
Of course, there are much more questions every mom can ask, bur I hope that these once will be able to help every mother to find good and responsible person.

I think that this question disturbs every man and every woman throughout the world regardless their religion and age. However, in reality what does it mean to be mother and to be father?
All people suppose that the destination of every woman in the Earth is to continue human race. But our forefathers thought that if a woman had not children she could not be valuable. They made believe that only after a woman understood what it meant she would be able to feel her feminity completely. The birth of child is a miracle, which approaches every woman to the God. Everybody knows that practically all religions have a cult of mother.
A lot of women explain that they are not ready to be a mother. Furthermore, they frequently approach to this important event very irresponsibly. It is not a secret that the majority of them even do not plan the birth of their children. They become mothers in consequence of silly fortuitousness. A lot of women do not want to have children because these living beings limit their liberty. Moreover, children need many financial charges and very often they spoil a figure.
Nevertheless, if a woman decides to become a mum, it is necessary for her to raise the next question: Why I need this baby? It is not a secret that the most commonly used answer is I need someone in my old age, who will be able to offer a glass of water. It turns out that parents take care of their children only because they need someone, who will be able to look after them in declining years. And if a baby does not justify their hopes in future, he will receive reproaches about his ingratitude. However, it is necessary to remember that a child is not a bank to which people deposit their money with hope to receive interests in future. He must be desired. It is essential to take care and love him without selfish ends.
Every woman must evaluate her readiness to become a mother and it is necessary for her to think about what she will be able to give her baby. And the most important thing here is spiritual values. An educational program, elaborated for the majority of schools and universities, has not a goal to educate women in the sphere of motherhood. That is why if a woman decides to chose this way, she will have to study a lot in order to behave in a proper way during her pregnancy, childbirth and in post-natal period. It is really very important because the future of every child depends on it.
And now I would like to speak about men and their attitude to fatherhood. It is not a secret that for the majority of men fatherhood is not the most important and significant affair in the life. The first positions occupy their career and job. And it is useless to blame our dear mankind in selfishness and loss of consciousness. Simple the nature decided that in all periods of time men were getters and bread-winners, while women were the keepers of house fireside. Although, in spite of continuous pressure of work, they have to participate in the upbringing of their children. Every child needs not only maternal, but and paternal love and kindness. He carefully keeps an eye on the behavior of his parents and tries to imitate it.  And then in the future he will try to build his family according to the model in which he lived and grew up. That is why it is very important for every child to see under his very nose deserving example of both parents.
The desire to become father is frequently unconscious, at the level of instinct. All men simple want to continua their family and they do everything no to let it disappear.
The same way as women, all men should think carefully about their preparedness for this serious step.  They should begin to think about what they will be able to give their children. It is essential to weigh all merits and demerits. Psychologists believe that if woman feel motherhood in the first period of pregnancy, man begins to feel his fatherhood not also after baby birth. That is why in order to speed up his knowing of responsibility, man should prepare to the birth of his child together with his wife. Moreover, he should help her during the pregnancy, childbirth and in post-natal period.
So as we can see in our society both of parents should be responsible for the birth of healthy and valuable baby. The way to motherhood is very important in the life of every woman. And man has not to keep his distance. During the pregnancy he should take care about future mother and future baby by her deliverance from housekeeping. It is important to create in the house friendly and positive atmosphere. Sometimes a woman, who waits a child, has different whims in food and desires. In accordance with Kazakh folk custom, all wishes and desires of future mother are holy and father makes unbelievable efforts to satisfy them. Besides, fathers must remember an advice of ancient Greeks: a woman, who waits a child, should look at beautiful statues, pictures and listen to pleasant music. Accomplishment of all these conditions will help an expectant mother to give birth to healthy and cheerful baby!!!

There is another interesting information.

Doctors should advise overweight moms considering another pregnancy to take off extra weight first because they are at greater risk of having big babies, a new Saint Louis University study finds.

Researchers found that moms who don’t lose the weight they gained during the first pregnancy and continue to gain after their first child is born are at risk of having bigger babies than mothers who do not gain weight between pregnancies. A patient’s prepregnancy weight remained the strongest predictor for the birth of a large infant in the next pregnancy.

The good thing it is to take off the weight you gained during one pregnancy and not to gain weight between pregnancies.

Large babies can be more difficult and take longer to deliver than normal weight babies because they are too big to fit easily through the birth canal. Large birth weight also might lead to a cesarean delivery.

The ideal is to have your weight as close to normal as possible. Weight gain between pregnancies doubles the risk of having a ‘large for gestational age’ baby.

Dr. Blaskiewicz compared 38,086 women who were of normal weight at their first and second pregnancies with 10,585 women who were of normal weight for their first pregnancy but overweight for their second.

A baby who is “large for gestational age” typically weighs about eight pounds, 13 ounces. Most babies weight about seven pounds.

Actually I don’t understand how even a five pound baby can fit easily through the birth canal. I’m going to give a birth to my baby soon and can’t imagine how it is gonna be! It scares me!!!