Child is not a cause for a divorce!
One of my friends has admitted to me, that during the pregnancy (now she has two very nice children) she was on the verge of divorce … sixteen times. Fortunately, it did not happen. She has admitted to me what ideas have led her to such condition. So I decided to ask some simple men who have wide experience of home life about it. I think, that to those readers who have same doubts, it will be interesting to learn, that «the opposite party » thinks in this occasion.
IDEA 1. It is necessary to get divorced, yet late. He loved me only when I had a perfect figure. And he doesn’t need me now. He looks at beautiful girls.
Michael, the father of three children:
It is absolutely wrong. The man can look anywhere and it doesn’t mean he lost his interest to his wife. And sexuality of a woman doesn’t depend on whether she is pregnant or not. Everything depends on how she feels herself and how she is acting.
Oleg, the father of two children:
The man (normal) marries the woman not because of a figure, he is involved in her absolutely with other qualities. And these remarkable qualities are shown especially brightly during the pregnancy.
IDEA 2. He is selfish. I am pregnant now. I need his help and care, but he doesn’t understand it. He turns on the TV when I want to sleep. He never washes dishes after himself. I didn’t pay attention to it before, but it is hard for me now to do some housework. My friend’s husband called his wife five times a day, massaged her when she was pregnant and mine ….
Peter, the father of three children:
On the contrary, when the beloved woman is pregnant, man feels the greater responsibility for her than earlier. But sometimes he doesn’t think about household trifles. Women have more flexible mentality, than the man. That’s why I consider, that she should take the initiative and talk to him, but without hysterics and screams. To find out attitudes and to discuss each other’s duties. It is important to choose a right moment for such conversation. For example, it is not necessary to find out attitudes, when both are tired.
IDEA 3. He considers, that it is impossible to communicate with me because I translate any theme on the child. And it, as seems to me,he is interested in our future kid insufficiently: inattentively listens to me when I tell about how he now looks and what he can do now. Besides the husband demands attention and care, but I need it too.
I asked to comment this idea several men of different age and with various life experience. All of them have declared, that it is always interesting to father how his child develops. Therefore it is possible to advise future mum who is overcome with similar ideas to calm down and to be more critical to herself: Probably your husband is tired. You have started talking to him when he was going to have a rest? Remember, it is a hard time for him too now: he works more than usually to provide the worthy future to you and your kid. And your husband really demands attention and care. Therefore do not reproach the husband, try to calm down, and try to be more tender, and you will see, that he will give more attention to you too.
IDEA 4. It seems to me, that when I have become pregnant, the husband began to hesitate of me. We always went together everywhere earlier, but now he doesn’t wish to appear with me in public. Recently he went to his friend’s birthday party and told me that everyone will be there without wives. Perhaps, the love has passed?
Vladimir, the father of the adult daughter:
The love has not passed. Often future fathers (especially if they are very young, and this is his first kid) hesitate of enhanced attention of associates, their questions and jokes. What should woman do in this case? Do not be silent, do not take offence. It is necessary to talk to the husband, to explain. Be patient. When your husband becomes more senior and wiser, he will behave absolutely differently.
What I can say in this occasion? Whether it is necessary to you to get divorced right now? You need an encouragement instead of tears and finding-out of attitudes. Whether it is necessary for you? It is your decision. But the woman should remember that when she is pregnant, she is not absolutely adequately estimates a situation. By the opinion of psychologists there are some changes in mentality of the pregnant woman because of hormonal reorganizations. In such condition the woman can strongly react to trifles which earlier would just pass unnoticed. And after pregnancy she will regret about the decision to divorce, but it will be too late.